This Belongs in a Museum

I don’t know about you, but I’m tired of talking about houses. Thank god historic house museum week is over. But before we move on, let me tell you about one of the best house museums I’ve ever visited, if you can call it that…Sir John Soane’s Museum probably belongs in a category all by itself, the place is just that unusual. I can’t think of any other house museum that is like it. Years ago I spent hours here, chatting away with the friendly staff, and I enjoyed the experience so much I decided to include it in my master’s thesis; after all, I was writing about architecture in museums. John Soane was an architect who demolished and rebuilt three houses in succession on the north side of Lincoln’s Inn Fields in London beginning in the late 1700s. The intention was to make a home and office, as well as a museum to display his large collection of art and architectural artifacts that he had collected. This guy was a hoarder. I’ll get into that later. What actually happened was that in 1833, a few years before he died, Soane obtained an Act of Parliament that bequeathed the house and its collection to Great Britain. He had created himself a Museum of Architecture. The neo-classical house is stuffed with objects, like Greek and Roman bronzes and busts, urns, fragments of Roman mosaics, a massive Egyptian sarcophagus, pieces of Medieval stained glass, death masks, Chinese ceramics, Napoleonic memorabilia, plaster casts of famous antique sculptures, various paintings and of course architecture-related items. There are 30,000 architectural drawings and over 200 architectural models. It’s difficult to remember specifics when there is so much to look at, but I do recall the hundreds of drawings on folding screens in the Picture Room, which is an ingenious way to display art when you have run out of wall space.

If Soane lived in the 21st century, he would be featured on A&E’s Hoarders because he definitely was a pack rat who hated empty spaces. He continually altered his house to make way for new acquisitions, most of these antiquities were worthy of more proper museums. But that’s not what makes his house so memorable, it’s the atmosphere of the place; the interior is full of top-lit galleries, double-height spaces and gloomy subterranean vaults. The space becomes even more eerie and gothic at night as the whole house is illuminated by candlelight (yes, you can visit the place in the evening), which is odd when you think of the burial vaults down below. Oh, right…I failed to mention Soane is buried inside his museum. A white marble bust of the man himself looks down at the Crypt Room, designed to look like a Roman catacomb, which is full of funerary busts and urns; while Monk’s Parlor is a series of rooms in the basement meant to resemble a cemetery, but is actually the grave of Soane’s dog. Odd. Even though the place is free, only a certain number of people are allowed inside at a time. You’re can wander on your own and take in the atmosphere. There are no annoying things usually found in museums: no text labels to distract your eye, no information desks, no café or restaurant to buy overpriced food. It’s a museum that is stuck in the late 18th/early 19th century, a place that time forgot. But unfortunately (or fortunately for conservationists out there), Sir John Soane’s Museum is stepping into the 21st century with a £7m three-year programme of restoration, “Opening up the Soane,” that will be completed sometime in 2015. Reading details about the project, like “improved visitor facilities, new Exhibition Gallery and Conservation Studios, and improvements for full disabled access” just makes me sad. I understand those things are important, but I feel like they might have killed what I liked most about the place: the atmosphere. 

In honor of the London Olympic Games, which starts today with its official opening ceremony, let me tell you about the World’s First Sand Sculpture Museum that has been built in Japan. What does 100,000 years of accumulation of rock and mineral particles over 323 acres, the largest such dune in Japan, have to do with merry old England? Well, let me tell you. The Tottori Sand Dunes, about 100 miles northwest of Osaka, have had several temporary sculpture exhibits over the years, but they finally decided to turn into a real, permanent museum. The first regular exhibit (open between now and next January) was created by fifteen sculptors from around the world and pays homage to Britain’s culture and history with depictions of famous figures like Queen Elizabeth I, Charles Darwin and William Shakespeare. Buildings like Westminster Abbey and Buckingham Palace have also been recreated as well as the famous rainy lifestyle (check out those umbrellas, mate). Don’t bring around a cloud to rain on my Olympic parade. Actually please do. I’ll laugh. 

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I’ve only been under anesthesia a few times in my life, and surprisingly, I can’t remember any of it. I wish there were other things I couldn’t remember, like maybe my entire middle school experience as well as maybe the last five years of bleak, soulless underemployment and crushing, massive debt. Oh, yeah. They got other drugs for that kind of shit. Well, for anyone who enjoyed their time being put under, or just wants to relive that moment when your body was in a complete state of unresponsiveness, then there is a museum just for you. Managed by the Association of Anaesthetists (Brit. spelling) of Great Britain and Ireland (or just bunch of white dudes with glasses), the Anaesthesia Museum has a collection of anaesthesia-related objects, from mid-19th century ether and chloroform inhalers to modern machines and appliances. This place makes me think of that scene with Bill Murray from Little Shop of Horrors…the only person who likes going to dentist. 

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Our ancestors were lucky if they had a single photograph of their wedding day, if they had any at all. That’s nothing compared to the brides and grooms of today who have thousands of pics (and changed facebook statuses) to prove to the world they are married, are important and indeed exist. My favorite story about a modern day bride is an old school friend of mine who had three photographers document every single moment…she even had a separate photo album of her make-up and hair sessions. It’s like everyone thinks they’re a celebrity posing in some magazine.

Did you know white did not become a popular option for wedding dresses until 1840, when Queen Victoria got married? She wore a white gown because she was really into lace and everyone likes to follow a queen’s lead. So think of that next time you go on about traditions and shit, especially when the color red is most popular in Eastern cultures. What’s right and what’s wrong?

Speaking of Victoria (and Albert)…at their little museum in London you can see the above dress, and believe it or not, it’s from an actual 18th century wedding. This mantua, a type of court dress, is associated with the wedding of Isabella Courtenay to Dr. John Andrew in Exeter Cathedral on 14 May 1744. She might not have worn it during the ceremony, we will never for sure (remember no photographs, people) but it was most likely part of the reception, you know where everyone double fists during the open bar.

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It may be April Fools’ Day and Palm Sunday, but did you also know today is the 121st anniversary of the Wrigley Company’s founding? William Wrigley originally sold soap and baking powder with a package of gum attached to each can, but the gum became so popular he switched products. Many museums have Wrigley items as part of their collections, including the first product to be scanned using a UPC bar code. That 10 pack of Wrigley’s Juicy Fruit gum from 1974 is now on display at the Smithsonian Institution’s National Museum of American History. Another museum (which I’ve covered here before) is the Museum of Brands, Packaging and Advertising in London, which displays Wrigley’s ‘Spearman’, who first appeared in advertisements beginning in 1915. The company was one of the first to create an “ad creature” (a company mascot), which was modeled after the flavor of gum that Wrigley introduced, Spearmint. It looked like a pointy-tipped mint leaf with a smiling face; and much like Tony the Tiger or the Trix Rabbit, the Spearman was seen in all advertisements and instantly recognizable to consumers of the early 20th century. In 1911, just twenty years after its founding, Wrigley’s famed Spearmint was first introduced in the UK and became so successful that a factory opened in Wembley. Since then more than 90% of the gum chewed by Brits is made by the company. Robert Opie, the Brit who started the Museum of Brands, is a success story too. He is the perfect example that hoarding can result in something good. No, really! Because he never threw anything out, the museum displays the 12,000 everyday objects he collected from living in a consumerist society. So that’s cool. Or maybe not.

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If you haven’t noticed already, I’m a bit fascinated with weird body stuff, which many museums are happy to display for sick and twisted people like me. At the Royal College of Surgeons in London, the Hunterian Museum displays an actual rectum cut from the corpse of the Bishop of Durham, Thomas Thurlow (1737-1791). It shows the effects of both hemorrhoids and bowel cancer. The patient had suffered from some time with bowel problems, which was believed to be piles. What’s piles? It’s just the historic name for hemorrhoids. Through a rectal examination (fun fun) by the man who actually founded the museum (Dr. John Hunter, a surgeon who collected medical memorabilia), it was determined that Thurlow had an incurable tumour, which he died from 10 months later. At least he lives on, well, part of him anyway.

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As we celebrate Labor Day (Labour to those crazy Canucks) in the U.S. with BBQs and parades let’s stop and remember the 345th anniversary of the Great London Fire. You know, because we were all there. The fire began on 2 September 1666 and ended three days later. One-third of London was destroyed including 10,000 buildings. The Royal Exchange, Guild Hall and original St. Paul’s Cathedral were the most famous losses. About 100,000 people were made homeless, but only 16 people died. It took about 50 years to rebuild the ruined city at a cost of 10 million pounds, which doesn’t sound like a lot today, but it’s probably similar to how much Google makes in a day or something. The London Fire Brigade officially began during the 1666 fire and, sure enough, they have a museum to tell you all about it. There are the usual historical facts, old fire appliances and equipment as well as various uniforms from the 1700s to the present. And what Fire Museum would this be without fire engines! You can see horse drawn ones to self-propelled steam engines to early 20th century battery powered vans. This might be exciting if, say, I was a little boy in a little red wagon…but I’m not. At least as far as I know. Haven’t looked in the mirror lately.

What you can’t tell from looking at the above photo is that enclosed pump releases gallons and gallons of tea. Hold the milk.

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