This Belongs in a Museum
Bringing you museum-approved grammatical errors and typos since 2010.
Oh, and sorry - I DO NOT FOLLOW BACK!
Tonight is the 85th Academy Awards aka The Oscars aka The Big Night For The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences aka These Are The Stupid People Who Gave An Oscar To Gwyneth Freakin’ Paltrow. Anyway, long before Hollywood was Hollywood, it was a citrus ranch. In 1895, a barn was built on what is now Selma and Vine Streets that housed horses, carriages, hay and other farm supplies. Nearly twenty years later in March of 1913, the Burns and Revier Studio and Laboratory was established inside the barn. That same year, Cecil B. DeMille* and Jesse Lasky, leased the barn and studio facilities for $250.00 a month and began production of The Squaw Man, the first feature film to be produced in Hollywood. After being moved around a lot, this landmark building was boarded up and abandoned until a permanent site could be found. Today the restored barn is home to the Hollywood Heritage Museum, now located at the southern end of the Hollywood Bowl parking lot. Open since 1985, the museum features archival photographs, film props, historical documents, postcards and even a recreation of Mr. DeMille’s office complete with a typewriter, film canisters, movie posters and of course booze. And on special occasions called “Evenings at the Barn,” visitors get a chance to see silent films. ”All right, Mr. DeMille, I’m ready for my close-up”…Sunset Boulevard received 11 Academy Award nominations, and won only 3. And that there’s your Oscar trivia, folks!
*Did you know Richard DeMille, son of Cecil, was the personal assistant of Scientology founder of L. Ron Hubbard? The cult, I mean religion, is a Hollywood thing so if it wasn’t for that barn maybe Battlefield Earth would never have been made.
In honor of her 90th birthday, today we will pay a visit to the Ava Gardner Museum in Smithfield, North Carolina. Born in nearby Grabtown on Christmas Eve 1922, Gardner’s family were poor tobacco farmers who lost their property when she was still young. It did not look like a bright future for the teen, becoming a secretary was the only means of success at the time for a woman. But luck was on her side. Her brother-in-law, a professional photographer, put Ava’s portrait in the window of his studio on Fifth Avenue in New York City, which caught the eye of someone from MGM, and the rest is Hollywood history. There’s a famous quote from Louis B. Mayer, head of the studio, who said: “She can’t sing, she can’t act, she can’t talk, she’s terrific!”
Fanboy Tom Banks began collecting memorabilia and opened a museum dedicated to her life in 1978. With over 20,000 pieces in the collection, there are personal photographs and mementos, costumes like the black velvet dress from The Great Sinner with a seemingly impossible 19-inch waist, various items from Ava’s homes in London and Madrid and a 14K solid yellow gold watch Ava gave to ex-hubby Frank Sinatra. Not sure if her other exes Mickey Rooney and Artie Shaw got watches too, but hey, they got to nail Ava, which we know is a very important issue…ain’t that right, Frank?
But probably the weirdest part is that Tom Banks has some competition in the number one fan department. Yes, Dutch artist Burt Pfeiffer had such an intense infatuation with Ava Gardner that he painted a portrait of her every year from 1948 until his death in 2001. All of his paintings hang on the walls of the museum, and one in particular features a mouse crawling up the actress’s sleeve. Is that mouse actually Burt? Weird.
Anyway, the gift shop sells paper dolls, t-shirts, wine bottles, bumper stickers, shot glasses and a hand fan featuring a die-cut glamor shot of Gardner (I want that last one just because it’s so freakin’ ridiculous). And the Ava tour doesn’t end with the museum, there’s the annual festival (now in it’s 8th year), and stops to see her birthplace and grave in Sunset Memorial Park Cemetery. So if you find yourself driving southeast of Raleigh and think there’s nothing to do, well, you’re wrong. My visit to the James Dean Museum in Indiana proves that the middle of nowhere is somewhere, at least for people who like dead movie stars.
In recognition of the 50th anniversary of Marilyn Monroe’s death, the Hollywood Museum has a special exhibit on her life. Yep, it’s this weekend, folks. August 5, 1962. First of all, I had no idea Hollywood had a museum. Second, I grew up on the edge of Chicago surrounded by Italians and city “workers”, who may or may not have told me who really killed her. Third, I know that sounds like a Chicago stereotype but you probably haven’t spent much time in the city’s western suburbs. Lastly, look up Sam Giancana henchman and poison expert Leonard ‘Needles’ Gianola, in case you ever wondered why Marilyn didn’t have needle marks. The guy knew what he was doing. Okay, now that I’ve told you all this I’m gonna have to kill you. My apologies.
Anyway, back to the museum…highlights of the exhibit include lots and lots of clothes (her honeymoon dress from her marriage to Joe DiMaggio, costumes from many of her films), the wood dresser and prescription pill bottle that was next to her bed the night she died, rare family photographs, her annotated film scripts and personal letters, and a make-up room where Norma Jean created her “Marilyn” look. And this shit is so exciting that Justin Bieber’s girlfriend has been to see it. Here are some pics from the exhibit. I like how they have a section just on Marilyn’s husbands, like she was Elizabeth Taylor or something.
(Image by Snapshot Boy)
Beetlejuice at the Hollywood Wax Museum
