This Belongs in a Museum
Bringing you museum-approved grammatical errors and typos since 2010.
Oh, and sorry - I DO NOT FOLLOW BACK!
With earlier posts about Korea’s Penis Park and Prague’s Sex Machines Museum, it should come as no surprise that this dirty little ol’ blog is now telling you about the Phallic Shrine in Bangkok. In the heart of the city right behind the five star luxury hotel Swissotel Nai Lert is a shrine dedicated to the female animist spirit Chao Mae Tubtim, who supposedly lives inside the banyan tree on the grounds. Because measuring is important here, the site of the shrine, roughly 60 by 70 feet (18 m × 21 m), is literally crammed with hundreds of penises. In Thailand, the phallus is a symbol of good luck and fertility, so women visit the shrine bringing gifts when trying to conceive or to return if their wish is fulfilled. The phallic shapes vary in shape, size and are even decorated with bling. There are small wooden carvings and big stone sculptures (some ten feet tall) of penises, usually decorated with ribbons and next to offerings of lotus, jasmine, candles and Chinese incense sticks. There is even a plaque, which says, “Chao Mae Tuptim has received yet another rather less conventional kind of gift, phallic in shape, both small and large, stylized and highly realistic. Over the years, they have been brought by the thousands…”. From what I’ve read on-line, many modern Thais see these magical dildos as quaint and eccentric, and even the hotel staff pretends to not know of the shrine’s existence. But if you’re a determined tourist who has a thing for unusual religious circumcised fun stick gardens, then go out and find it. Next to professional athletes and Donald Trump, the Chao Mae Tuptim shrine is the cockiest of the cock.
As we near closer to the date of Valentine’s Day where single women over 30 are driven to near suicide with the “dinner-for-two” specials and men are forced to buy crap for their significant others that they clearly don’t need (oh, but how it makes them feel so loved), let’s take a moment to celebrate the art of the penis.
Outside of Samcheok City is Haeshindang Park, otherwise known as Penis Park. The story goes that a couple, madly in love and soon to be wed met a tragic end when the high tide swept the young woman into the sea. The next day, fishermen did not catch any fish. After that the sea dried up. Believing they were cursed, the townspeople wondered what to do, until a local fisherman relieved himself in the sea. The fish returned. And because of this so-called “miracle”, penis statues were erected (pun intended) and placed in view of the shore. Not sure why they didn’t also create a bunch of statues of men peeing into the sea, but whatever.
Today nearly fifty sculpted phallus, from a totem pole ding-a-ling to a penis-shaped nose, greet visitors who can sit on dong projectile benches and admire the sea while honoring the old folk tale. Small shacks house anatomy-esque art collections dedicated to genitalia; like a wang wind chime and a giant, orange joystick. There is also a penis shaped cannon and three penis soldiers standing guard. Considering the United States gets uptight about a nipple accidentally shown on television, well, I don’t expect a Penis Park in our nation’s capitol anytime soon.
