For seven short years there was a place I could have sent my discarded old, smelly bras (if only I ever found the energy to clean out my dresser). But the world is an awful place. An amazing tourist site is no more and that makes me weep. Let me start at the beginning. Sometime between Christmas and New Year’s Eve of 1999, a bunch of bras were mysteriously thrown onto a fence in Otago, New Zealand. A few more lazy hippies followed suit and the country had a new and strange attraction with thousands of people taking pictures and making additional contributions. There was an occasional bra theft (including some horny dude or poor woman who stole hundreds of them) or legal removal but the booby undergarments always came back eventually and continued to grow. As they flapped around in the countryside, a random sheep would look up and wonder what the hell was going on. Something tells me this isn’t what Bob Dylan meant when he sang “Blowin in the Wind”? There was even a sheep farmer named John Lee (please see the picture above) who guarded the support garment fence. Anyway, uptight people (probably wearing the wrong bra size) are always around to ruin shit so as they got more and more upset the government finally stepped in. The council discovered the fence was on public land and therefore needed a licence. Before its removal, or should I say burning, there was an attempt to make the world’s longest bra chain. The chain reached some 7,400 bras, over 100,000 short of the world record (yeah because that exists), but all was not lost as over $10,000 was raised for charity. Though it is no longer with us, the Cardrona Bra Fence will live in the cherished memories of bra lovers everywhere.
Oh, I was just measured recently and I’m a 38D. Don’t worry…I’ll be putting that on my latest resume. Probably better than my useless degrees or job experience combined.
