What better way to celebrate the American holiday of overeating, football games and ridiculous shopping “deals” than with American hero Captain James T. Kirk? Thanks to chimaera-stormhawk I now know he will be born in Riverside, Iowa in the year 2233, when hopefully Americans are no longer eating turkeys with jellied cranberry sauce and fighting over LCD HDTVs. But Kirk’s future birthplace, a bit south of Iowa City in case you were curious, is home to everything Star Trek from a plaque marking the spot where Kirk will be birthed in another two centuries to a scale model of the “USS Riverside.” And of course there is the Voyage Home Museum “where the Trek begins.” It’s actually the Riverside History Center, but hey, this is a small town (did I say small?) so a fictional character’s birthplace is really all they got going here. The museum, manned by a little old lady, which is true for all tiny museums, is full of Star Trek paraphernalia and a time capsule. The gift shop sells a $3 vial of “Kirk Dirt” that comes with a Certificate of Authenticity stating it is actual dirt from the future birthplace of Captain Kirk. God, you would think this dude was Jesus or something? Oh, and in case you like to plan ahead there is the annual TrekFest in late June. So mark your calendars. This is all incredibly exhausting for someone who hasn’t even been born yet, but that’s probably true for most babies. I mean, have you been on facebook lately? It’s all about people who can’t wait to give birth. Puh-leeze. 130 million babies are born every year. What’s so special about yours?
Oh, and I’ve only ever seen one episode of Star Trek. I was seventeen years old, it was a humanities class, and my teacher was trying to teach us about race or something. But now that I think about it I’m sure she was a Trekkie (or is it Trekker?) and just wanted an excuse to watch tv. I don’t blame her.
